This case was referred to us by an existing client who had been very pleased with our services.  This new client was married to a wife who was suspected to have a borderline personality disorder.  There were two children and we were very concerned for their well-being since the mother was seeking full custody.  We were successful in convincing the court to order a full psychological evaluation of the parties and their minor children.  The psychological evaluation corroborated the fact that the mother did, indeed, have borderline personality disorder.  The recommendation was that full custody be placed with the father.  In a very unusual development, the mother demanded that she be entitled to another psychological evaluation.  The judge then ordered that she could avail herself to another evaluation but also permitted the father to arrange for his own back-up evaluation.  All three evaluations eventually confirmed the borderline personality disorder diagnosis and all three psychologists testified as to the significant limitations that this disorder would have on the mother’s parenting ability.  The court awarded sole custody to our client, the father, and standard parenting time for the mother. 

A parent with borderline personality disorder can have great difficulty seeing his or her children’s actual needs and is often dominated by their own emotional needs.  They usually live fairly unstable lives and fluctuate between periods of relative stability and times of considerable instability.  They are often emotionally very immature and insecure.  They often have great difficulty controlling their anger.  They sometimes engage in reckless activities, such as shoplifting, speeding, provocative dressing, eating disorders and even suicide attempts.  At times, they can provide some important benefits for their children when the occasion calls for a fun time, however, they are not usually capable of providing a consistent structure, on which their children can rely. 

At the time we handled this case, both children were in elementary school.  They have now both completed high school, are attending college and doing very well.  Invitations from these children years later to their high school graduations brought great smiles to our faces and joy to our hearts.